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This year marks a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions confirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {